Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
