You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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