Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
