there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
