Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
