I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
