We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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