the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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