why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
