omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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