Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
