so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize