you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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