Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
