So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
