if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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