He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize