i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
