the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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