Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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