That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize