i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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