Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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