Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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