Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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