Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
