I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
