ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
love makes seman taste better
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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