Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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