dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
