it's not cheating when I paid for it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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