We should be called the Road Head Warriors
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
