i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
