i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
