he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
