Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Someone came in the potted fern
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
