i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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