I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
