direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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