I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
