Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Don't make out with my wife yet
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My pussy is not your playground.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
