Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
operation harelip BJ is a go
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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