He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
