i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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