what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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