i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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