Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
