It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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