waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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