By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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