so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
