she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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