If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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