You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im holly from the hills drunk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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