So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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