rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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