I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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