Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
