it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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